The Original Jackass

"I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel..."

Thu, 31 May 2012 11:13:47 -0400

“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”

- Ignatius J. Reilly

Photo

Thu, 31 May 2012 10:31:08 -0400

blindspotsandsunshine: msmajik: thisguyles: thedrinkinggeek: ...

Thu, 31 May 2012 09:32:56 -0400

blindspotsandsunshine:

msmajik:

thisguyles:

thedrinkinggeek:

kaonicks:

smashedperderders:

corgisandboobs:

$25.50

I am dramatically undersexed.

$66.50
Is this how much I’m supposed to charge now?

$103.50

Oh.

90.00 even

I dont wanna add this up. Pretty much all, except 6, 10, 13

I am bored, it is early - I don’t know why I did this - lol

$91.50

$99.50

$1,722.50 (I assume I get $10.00 for each fist-fight, right?)

Throwback Thursday, 12/25/2003.

Thu, 31 May 2012 08:16:00 -0400

Throwback Thursday, 12/25/2003.

Killing me.

Wed, 30 May 2012 16:32:10 -0400

Killing me.

Knitler, please.

Wed, 30 May 2012 14:21:07 -0400

Knitler, please.

criticalpax: groverviolet: What I think every time someone...

Wed, 30 May 2012 14:19:00 -0400

criticalpax:

groverviolet:

What I think every time someone wants to make their lack of planning and foresight into my emergency.

THIS. RIGHT. NOW. Uncanny that this was at the top of my dash.

This, because criticalpax and titsandsassjust made me spit peanut butter on my dog (floor, screen, and desk).

This is the Nets’ DeShawn Stevenson. He has an ATM in his...

Wed, 30 May 2012 11:24:49 -0400

This is the Nets’ DeShawn Stevenson.

He has an ATM in his kitchen.

Poker ring or drug ring? It ain’t no championship ring.

GPOYW! Um, can I get four tickets to this weekend’s game...

Wed, 30 May 2012 10:15:27 -0400

GPOYW!

Um, can I get four tickets to this weekend’s game whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

You guys might not know it, but I used to be a really good...

Wed, 30 May 2012 09:29:00 -0400

You guys might not know it, but I used to be a really good bowler.

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are...

Wed, 30 May 2012 08:47:30 -0400

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!

darksidelawyer:

Tumblr Crushes:

smell-my-chloroform

caustikgrip

jazzerscissor

theoriginaljackass

justashleyagain

jakefogelnest

pnutbuttertits

lilytrail

rebeccalucente

Pimpin’ ain’t easy edition

5:30 on 5/30. Mike Stern’s “Reach” featuring...

Wed, 30 May 2012 08:26:00 -0400

5:30 on 5/30.

Mike Stern’s “Reach” featuring the jaw-droppingly good Richard Bona on bass and vocals.

bluegypsy: msdeenyc: ryanjjohn: Every night. GPOY This is...

Tue, 29 May 2012 21:54:54 -0400

bluegypsy:

msdeenyc:

ryanjjohn:

Every night.

GPOY

This is great.

This is me, after my shelf-hanging fail.

theoriginaljackass: Yeah. Fuck. Hit Home Depot. Spent two...

Tue, 29 May 2012 21:35:41 -0400

theoriginaljackass:

Yeah. Fuck.

Hit Home Depot.

Spent two hours organizing and purging ~ 100 lbs of my stuff (wife feels the need to keep all her clothes from when she last worked. Back in the 90s).

Secured stronger screws into studs (not like the flimsy-ass anchors the original owners used).

Hung new, lighter wardrobe with care.

And then it ripped out of the wall and fell to the ground 10 minutes later.

BRB. Need to go kill something.

therealpottymouth replied to your post: Truthful Tuesday - therealpottymouth Edition i love that...

Tue, 29 May 2012 18:21:17 -0400

therealpottymouth replied to your post: Truthful Tuesday - therealpottymouth Edition

i love that you call this the realpottymouth edition. :)

Bullets for everybody!

Truthful Tuesday - therealpottymouth Edition

Tue, 29 May 2012 18:15:26 -0400

Real men use bullets.
OK, fine, my OCD is showing.
I reblogged a video today that made me want to quit my job and do something meaningful.
I ran yesterday. Not even sore.
I intended on running today but oops the storms are here and now I don’t hafta run again until September.
I quit soda for a whole 24 hours.
They say that diet soda affects short- and long-term memory.
My addiction to Diet Coke can only be described as “enamel-eroding”.
Got pulled over yesterday. By a state trooper. At a red light. For my window tint shade. People of this community really need to step the fuck up and commit some real crime.
They say that diet soda affects short- and long-term memory.
I love my family to death but thank fuck they left yesterday.
I am a voracious reader of books and listener of music, and I’ve paid for neither for many, many moons.
State trooper is totally gonna pull me over for that.

thedailywhat: Heartwarming Tearjerker of the Day: Matt W....

Tue, 29 May 2012 17:31:00 -0400

thedailywhat:

Heartwarming Tearjerker of the Day: Matt W. has spastic cerebral palsy, which means his mobility is severely limited. But Matt was determined to run in his elementary school’s Field Day race, so his best friend, the gym teacher Mr. Blaine, led Matt’s classmates in a spontaneous show of support.

OMG TISSUES.

[thanks, andra!]

Dusty in here. Dang allergies acting up, and all.

Breakfast of champions!

Tue, 29 May 2012 16:42:00 -0400

Breakfast of champions!

"So. You like… stuff?"

Tue, 29 May 2012 15:44:47 -0400

“So. You like… stuff?”

- Ralph Wiggum

5:29 for your 5/29.

Tue, 29 May 2012 14:52:00 -0400

5:29 for your 5/29.