The Original Jackass

Sparklehorse — Sad & Beautiful World

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:16:00 -0500

Sparklehorse — Sad & Beautiful World

RIP, Sparklehorse.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:48:56 -0500

RIP, Sparklehorse.

Outstanding. I can’t stop laughing.

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:39:10 -0500

Outstanding. I can’t stop laughing.

I can’t imagine how being cooped up in a hospital room for...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:56:49 -0500

I can’t imagine how being cooped up in a hospital room for 55 days would affect me. But it could very well manifest itself like this.

“Bright Size Life” Pat Metheny & Richard Bona

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:58:00 -0500

“Bright Size Life”

Pat Metheny & Richard Bona

“Sweet Dreams” — Roy Buchanan (Don Gibson...

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:36:00 -0500

“Sweet Dreams” — Roy Buchanan (Don Gibson cover)

Sting — “Bring on the Night” Sting —...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:41:45 -0500

Sting — “Bring on the Night”

Sting — Vocals/Guitar/Bass
Omar Hakim — Drums
Darryl Jones — Bass
Kenny Kirkland — Keyboards
Branford Marsalis — Saxophones
Dollette McDonald — Backgroud Vocals
Janice Pendarvis — Backgroud Vocals

“The Chicken” John Scofield, Guitar Jaco Pastorius,...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:36:00 -0500

“The Chicken”

John Scofield, Guitar

Jaco Pastorius, Bass

Kenwood Dennard, Drums

2:35-2:55, OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD. “Gay Marry” good.

Duke Ellington — Take the A-Train

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 09:38:00 -0500

Duke Ellington — Take the A-Train

Awesomeness.

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 09:16:26 -0500

Awesomeness.

"Top Secret Cool Jackass Club". I want in.

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:49:28 -0500

ohheygreat:

merlin:

Why Merlin Mann (Whom I’ve Never Heard of) is a Complete Jackass

Metafilter comment on someone called, “Merlin Mann,” who had been declared a “complete jackass” upthread:

Read More

Anyone who does THAT dance to THAT song is never, under any circumstances, EVER a jackass.

Plus, I once saw how many cherries this guy puts in a Makers and ginger. That’s like anti-jackass tonic right there.

Wait, unless we’re talking about the Top Secret Cool Jackass Club. GODDAMMIT DID I RUIN THINGS AGAIN YOU GUYS PLEASE KEEP CONSIDERING MY MEMBERSHIP

Honestly, there will always be some jitbag - in real life, in a magazine, on the internet, on whatever platform - going “hey, I don’t know shit but I’m going to talk about it anyway - and I’m going to tell YOU how YOU’RE an asshole.” The bummer is that for the 1,000 people who tell you how much they like you, the one jerk with the megaphone telling you exactly which dongles you suck is always, always the loudest - and that’s always the stuff that stings the most.

I’m not a very loud voice, nor a particularly important one, but I think you’re great. Beyond great, if you must know.

Here is a story: For a few years, I was an advice columnist, in a very interesting context: I was the advice columnist on IGN.com from late 1998/early 1999 to 2001. Along with a brilliant guy named Julian Rignall and some other super smart dudes, I helped shape IGN.com into the crazy site it is today, and along the way became a bit of a personality known as Ask Leah. Yes, that’s right, I gave advice to guys aged 13 and up. Not just any guys, but videogamers. For 2 1/2 years. My job included writing a feature a week, plus answering letters in two to three smaller columns per day. For the harder stuff, like the medical questions or the really serious answers, I had a medical advisor/ghost writer (a doctor - my mom!). The columns were:

- Ask Leah
- Tough Love
- What’s Up With My Penis?

This is not a joke.

During those 2 1/2 years, I had a fairly large readership. I had to do publicity, like go on radio shows as the “sex & love columnist,” and one time spent 70 miserable minutes taking punishment on Opie & Anthony, when they were still on regular broadcast radio. I stayed on the entire time (even The Rock hung up on them), weathering some serious on-air abuse, because I knew that as bad as that abuse was, the abuse I’d get via email would be worse if I hung up.

The letters I got varied, of course, from “What are these lumps on my nuts” to “I’ve never talked to a girl and I want to ask her out” to “I feel suicidal.” I had moms writing me, begging me to answer their kids. I had kids arguing with me, disagreeing with me, sometimes telling me I was an idiot, and stupid, and ugly, and awful. After a while it felt like I was writing Cosmo for teens who did nothing but fondle their nuts in between playing rounds of Tekken 3 and Quake II and Zelda and fired off notes to the editor about how they were SHOCKED AND APPALLED about some stupid omission on a frigging website, of all things. Guys, go outside.

But you know what I remember now? Besides the horror that was Opie & Anthony, and the occasional desire to punch myself in the face, and the jokes and eye-rollings, and how bitter I was about the crappy treatment I received when I was laid off by a company I had worked very, very hard for - I mostly remember the good. From the readers. The people I helped. The respectful kids. The ones who started thinking and behaving a little differently. The guy who had never talked to a girl - and who ended up with a date to homecoming. There are some other great stories in there. I really treasure them.

So this long, silly aside: I’m sure you know all this. But those fuckers? Are always going to be fuckers. You really do make a difference to a lot of us. Whether by getting us to think differently, to see the world differently, or to laugh when we’re sitting here feeling like slamming our heads repeatedly into the space bar. We’re your little readers who should probably stop fondling our nuts and playing games, and should go outside. Occasionally we do, and we figure things out. We owe you, man.

Don’t let the fuckers get you down. Now, get back to work.

xo

Sweet merciful crap.

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 11:24:19 -0500

Sweet merciful crap.

Major case of the yips.

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:57:44 -0500

Major case of the yips.

Let er rip

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:25:00 -0500

http://theoriginaljackass.com/ask

I was grinding through my day gig… And tighter than shit.

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:04:00 -0500

I was grinding through my day gig…

And tighter than shit.

Arguably the greatest TV moment of the 00’s.

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:48:00 -0500

Arguably the greatest TV moment of the 00’s.

Best. Video. Ever.

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:08:08 -0500

Best. Video. Ever.

No, Facebook, nobody with boobs like that has ever searched for me.

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 11:08:32 -0500

No, Facebook, nobody with boobs like that has ever searched for me.

Remind me why I do this, again?

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 07:33:28 -0500

Table xxxxxxxxxx’ 9-max Seat #9 is the button

Seat 1: full of five (1038 in chips)

Seat 2: KOSHMATIC (2730 in chips)

Seat 3: ontspannen7 (3165 in chips)

Seat 4: eddy krabbe (1557 in chips)

Your fearless leader: The Original Jackass (1800 in chips)

Seat 6: ruijgrok55 (1855 in chips)

Seat 8: Gurkebrot (2205 in chips)

Seat 9: lf78 (1990 in chips)

full of five: posts small blind 75

KOSHMATIC: posts big blind 150

*** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to The Original Jackass [Ah As]

ontspannen7: raises 150 to 300

eddy krabbe: folds

The Original Jackass: raises 300 to 600

ruijgrok55: folds

Gurkebrot: folds

lf78: folds

full of five: raises 438 to 1038 and is all-in

KOSHMATIC: raises 1692 to 2730 and is all-in

ontspannen7: folds

The Original Jackass: calls 1200 and is all-in

Uncalled bet (930) returned to KOSHMATIC

*** FLOP *** [Ks 3h 8s]

*** TURN *** [Ks 3h 8s] [Qs]

*** RIVER *** [Ks 3h 8s Qs] [2c]

*** SHOW DOWN ***

KOSHMATIC: shows [Qc Qd] (three of a kind, Queens)

The Original Jackass: shows [Ah As] (a pair of Aces)

KOSHMATIC collected 1524 from side pot

full of five: shows [Ad Ac] (a pair of Aces)

KOSHMATIC collected 3414 from main pot

*** SUMMARY ***

Total pot 4938 Main pot 3414. Side pot 1524. | Rake 0

Board [Ks 3h 8s Qs 2c]

Seat 1: full of five (small blind) showed [Ad Ac] and lost with a pair of Aces

Seat 2: KOSHMATIC (big blind) showed [Qc Qd] and won (4938) with three of a kind, Queens

Seat 3: ontspannen7 folded before Flop

Seat 4: eddy krabbe folded before Flop (didn’t bet)

Seat 5: The Original Jackass showed [Ah As] and lost with a pair of Aces

Seat 6: ruijgrok55 folded before Flop (didn’t bet)

Seat 8: Gurkebrot folded before Flop (didn’t bet)

Seat 9: lf78 (button) folded before Flop (didn’t bet)

(via ellapsycho) I call “bullshit”.

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:00:25 -0500

(via ellapsycho)

I call “bullshit”.