The Original Jackass

Feb 04

[video]

Sometimes I think I’m funnier than I actually am.

Worst. Airport. Ever.

Nice shirt, douchebag.

What I did in class tonight.

One word. “Masterpiece”.

#6 is just perfect.

(Source: nevver, via merlin)

Another day, another flight. But no complaints - tonight I’m taking my talents to South Beach!
Today marks one month at my new employer, and I’ve never been happier, professionally-speaking.
I logged 26 nights at Hilton properties in January. They need another tier beyond “Diamond”.
Arterial scan results show me having the vascular health of a 20 year old. I’m 43. Sill paranoid, given my family history.
13 got his braces off yesterday. I’m actually jealous of that perfect-toothed little jerk.
Pitchers and catchers report in less than three weeks. I have ants in my pants even though my Mets have already been mathematically-eliminated from postseason play.
Used Craigslist for the first time to unload a 36” tube tv yesterday in under 10 minutes. This may become habit-forming.
I have way too many football and baseball jerseys. I cannot bring myself to part with them. Which to wear for the Super Bowl? Home Mark Bavaro? Road Harry Carson? Home Victor Cruz?
I have a small surplus of Star Wars lunch-boxes. Call me.